HOW ADDICTION HURTS THE WHOLE FAMILY
Here’s how addiction can impact each branch of the family tree and what you can do to put an end to this family crisis.
HOW ADDICTION HURTS THE WHOLE FAMILY
It only takes one addict in the household to infect the entire family.
Substance abuse exists in about 25% of American homes. This disease can be found in families of any background. Even the most well-off, supposedly “normal” people aren’t immune to it.
Causes could be anything from genetics, family history, or peer pressure. No matter the origin, everyone in the household suffers the effects of addiction in different ways.
Here’s how addiction can impact each branch of the family tree and what you can do to put an end to this family crisis.
When the Parent is the Addict
Children watch everything their parents do, and they internalize behaviors they see in the home. What they observe shapes how they speak, think, and behave throughout their lives.
When one or both parents spend most of their time inebriated, this throws off what is meant to be a healthy, supportive home environment.
When the Parent is the Addict
Children watch everything their parents do, and they internalize behaviors they see in the home. What they observe shapes how they speak, think, and behave throughout their lives.
When one or both parents spend most of their time inebriated, this throws off what is meant to be a healthy, supportive home environment.
Kids need affection and interaction in order to grow into functioning young adults. If their needs are neglected, they’re more likely to face challenges in everyday life.
Emotional & Developmental Delays
Depending on their age, kids of addicts are likely to struggle with at least one of the following:
- Poor Communication Skills
- Low Emotional Intelligence (self and social awareness)
- Poor Anger Management
- Low Self Esteem
- Cannot Handle Stress or Change
- Difficulty Concentrating
Relationship Problems
Children absorb behaviors seen at home into their own personal relationships, increasing the chances of repeating the cycle in the next generation.
Physical Defects
If the mother consumes drugs or alcohol while pregnant, side effects could include birth defects, underdeveloped parts of the brain, or the baby is born suffering from withdrawal.
Financial Problems
An addict may withhold money, restrict spending, or even steal from friends and family, to feed their addictive behavior.
When a parent’s addiction causes financial strain, basic necessities could fall through the cracks. Bills go unpaid. Lights shut off. An eviction notice shows up on the front door.
Of-age children may feel obligated to get a job to keep food on the table, or learn to go without. This could heavily impact how a kid may handle money and their personal health as an adult.
If You’re the Parent with Addiction
Life is hard. It’s even harder when you have kids. It’s understandable why someone would turn to the bottle or pills just to unwind. However, there are other, much healthier ways to relax.
To you, it may not seem like your drug or alcohol consumption is a big deal. But each day you use, you deny your child the parent they need right now… someone who is present… someone who makes them feel safe, worthy, and loved.
If you don’t, they could be taken out of your custody. Your own parents may have to raise them if you get in trouble with the law. They could run away from home and never speak to you again. They could hurt themselves, someone else, or resort to suicide.
If You’re the Parent with Addiction
Life is hard. It’s even harder when you have kids. It’s understandable why someone would turn to the bottle or pills just to unwind. However, there are other, much healthier ways to relax.
To you, it may not seem like your drug or alcohol consumption is a big deal. But each day you use, you deny your child the parent they need right now… someone who is present… someone who makes them feel safe, worthy, and loved.
If you don’t, they could be taken out of your custody. Your own parents may have to raise them if you get in trouble with the law. They could run away from home and never speak to you again. They could hurt themselves, someone else, or resort to suicide.
These scenarios are absolutely terrifying, but it doesn’t have to come to that.
The fact that you’re reading this today means you’re looking to change.
At Brooks Healing Center, we’re here to help you get better, so you can be present with your family again.
Your SO is your teammate, and teammates look out for each other. If an addict spends a significant amount of time under the influence, how much are they really contributing to the team?
Like children, a spouse should feel safe, valued, and loved.
After all, this is the relationship that your children will witness first-hand. They can subconsciously take this experience with them into their own relationship.
Is your relationship now something you’d want them to imitate?
How This Hurts Your Spouse
Emotional Distress
It’s heartbreaking to watch the one you love do this to themselves. As much as you’d like to help them, the solution requires cooperation from the addict. The spouse could try to convince them to quit, but this could easily escalate into a dispute.
Fear of the Addict
The spouse may become too afraid to intervene at all if the addict gets angry, suicidal, or even violent. Several things could happen from here: they may leave, continue to enable the problem, or join in using.
Financial Problems
The spouse may work more in order to keep up with the bills, which enables the addict even more.
Trust Issues
Substance use could be done in secret or the addict could break their promise to quit. If they spend time with the wrong people, they could be at risk for an overdose, committing a crime, infidelity, among other things that can break your spouse’s trust.
If the One You Love is an Addict
Relationships are built on the promise of sticking through thick and thin, in sickness and in health. If you’re reading this, chances are you’ve realized your loved one is sick.
If the One You Love is an Addict
Relationships are built on the promise of sticking through thick and thin, in sickness and in health. If you’re reading this, chances are you’ve realized your loved one is sick.
It takes immense strength, courage, and loyalty to stay with someone who won’t help themselves. That being said, if you don’t feel safe around this person, make it a priority to arrange a place for you and your family to go (a friend, a relative’s, etc).
Substance abuse can destroy the solid foundation necessary for a healthy relationship, but if you conquer this together, that foundation can become even stronger.
If you or your loved one is abusing alcohol or drugs, reach out to Brooks Healing Center today.
If You’re the Child of an Addict
Regardless of how old you are, it can be scary to manage a crisis without the support of the adult you should be able to trust.
If You’re the Child of an Addict
Regardless of how old you are, it can be scary to manage a crisis without the support of the adult you should be able to trust.
Playing the Role of the Parent
You may be your own caretaker, or keep out for your siblings if you have any, in the absence of your parents. While it’s commendable that you’ve adapted in such trying times, it isn’t meant to be this way. You should get to be a child while you still are one.
If you don’t feel safe talking to your addicted parent about this, reach out to your school counselor or another adult relative that can help your family take the proper steps necessary to get better.
You’re Not a Bad Child
It’s common for children to blame themselves for their parent’s addiction.
“If I stopped acting out, maybe mom will stop drinking.”
“If I did better in school, maybe dad wouldn’t take so many pills.”
Even if a parent has said this to you directly, none of this is your fault. You did not put the substance in their hand and force them to use it. That is a choice they make over and over again.
Going behind their back and confiding in another adult may feel like betraying or disobeying them, but this is for the safety of you and your family. It could even save someone’s life.
We’re here to help you.
When the Child is an Addict
From family history to peer pressure in school, it’s a loving parent’s nightmare to watch their baby suffering with substance abuse.
When the Child is an Addict
From family history to peer pressure in school, it’s a loving parent’s nightmare to watch their baby suffering with substance abuse.
How this Hurts the Parents
Emotional Distress
It’s devastating to discover your son or daughter is an addict. Punishment, withholding privileges, or any other traditional form of parental guidance can make matters worse.
When it becomes a major problem, a parent could feel powerless over the situation, and feel it’s a reflection of them.
External Shame and Judgment
Whenever you hear something on the news about a child acting out, most people say something along the lines of, “Where are their parents?”
From other adults, other parents, maybe your grandparents or other relatives, your addiction could make your parents feel like they’ve failed you.
The truth is parents could do a phenomenal job raising an active, intelligent, well-rounded child, and he or she could still get involved with alcohol or drugs without them even knowing.
Financial Problems
If the addict steals money from their parents, it’s a breach of trust and also poses a threat to the family’s financial security. This could cost the childhood home, the car, the power, etc.
They may feel like they cannot trust the addict to be alone or to make their own decisions, and they could become overbearing.
If an addiction is causing strife within your family, Brooks Healing Center offers services for the whole family.
If Your Child is Battling with Addiction
As much as you’d like to take away all their suffering, your son or daughter must overcome this on their own. You can only encourage them to seek professional help from a healing center.
We’re here to help you come to peace with this while your loved one recovers.
If You are the Child with an Addiction
Everyone makes mistakes, especially when we’re trying to figure out who we are. You may feel ashamed, afraid of disappointment, anger, or like you’re a bad kid.
But your parents are here to help guide you through life. It’s difficult to get through alone. If you’re lucky to have a caring parent, both parents, or other older relatives to support you, you can certainly ask for help.
If you’re in a situation where your parents don’t care, don’t pay attention, or are also addicted to drugs, you can still overcome this.
Addiction’s Impact on the Sibling
During an addiction crisis, an often overlooked member of the family is the addict’s sibling. Any issues regarding the non-addict may be considered insignificant by comparison.
Addiction’s Impact on the Sibling
During an addiction crisis, an often overlooked member of the family is the addict’s sibling. Any issues regarding the non-addict may be considered insignificant by comparison.
How This Hurts Siblings
Lack of Support from Parents
The sibling may not be an addict themselves, but addiction present in the home also denies them a normal childhood. Their needs may be neglected to put more time and energy into helping the addict.
Internalizing Emotions
Bundling up your feelings isn’t healthy, and could lead to a number of mental health issues. Siblings may even feel ashamed of their personal success and undermine their accomplishments. Self-shaming or holding in emotions keeps you in a negative headspace which can spiral into even more unhealthy behaviors.
Forced into Unhealthy Family Role
A sibling may unintentionally be the family peacemaker or caretaker. They may raise themselves when they aren’t getting parental support.
Pressure to be Perfect
They may even be seen as the low-maintenance, “perfect” child which not only could lead to resentment from the addicted child, but also put even more pressure on the sibling to keep the parents happy.
If You’re the Sibling
You’re still worthy of your family’s love and attention, and you need parental support just as much as your struggling brother or sister.
No matter where your sibling is in their recovery journey, you’re allowed to do well in life without feeling guilty about it. If you wish to help your family, remember to take care of yourself first.
The best support you can provide is by speaking with your parents and figuring out a way to encourage the addict to seek help with a professional healing center.
Why Would a Family Hide that there’s Addiction at Home?
There’s so much pressure to be that picture-perfect family who has it all together all the time. When word gets around that addiction is present in your family, there’s a fear that people will see you as an out of control, broken, flawed family who should be shamed.
Addicts are afraid of losing their babies. They’re afraid to go to jail and be labeled a felon, making life even more difficult for them even after they’re released. They’re afraid they’ll be a burden on everyone around them. There are a lot of complex emotions involved that aren’t always easy to put into words.
We live in a world that praises self-sufficiency, independence, and strength. While that’s not inherently a bad thing, it can be damaging to a struggling individual or family.
So, many families try to deal with it in silence. It’s no wonder why only 10% of the millions of Americans suffering with an addiction get the treatment they need.
Yes, self-sufficiency, independence, and strength are all great things. Having a loving community around you is just as important.
Asking for help is not a sign of weakness. It takes immense strength and courage to admit that, and that’s the very first step to getting better.
When strength alone doesn’t work, compassion can pull you up from your lowest points.
Brooks Healing Center’s team is built on compassionate-based, growth-oriented care for the human, not the addiction.
Your Foundation For Lasting Recovery
Brooks Healing Center is just an hour and a half away from central cities like Nashville and Chattanooga. You will be close to city comforts yet separate enough from the real world so you can heal in peace. Our facility is tucked against the meditative and calming backdrops of luscious green fields. You will find yourself in a relaxing and supportive environment that helps you leave the pressures of your life behind as you take your first steps on the road to recovery.
Brooks is here for you every step of the way.
Each of our staff members knows the pain you’re going through and we’re ready to help you and your family break free from the chains of addiction.
You will follow a routine in order to develop healthy habits, essential life skills, and coping strategies. Then you get to go home in the evening and apply what you’ve learned to your everyday life.
Depending on your treatment plan, you may attend therapy sessions or our 12-Step Program at our recovery center located in rural Tennessee.
Send us an email:
Call 931-740-1087 or fill out the form to start your recovery journey.
